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I'm so depressed... wonder why I can't get it together since being told I've got breast cancer. I'm in a fog. Did anyone feel like this at first?

Saana Malik Profile
Asked by

anonymous

Patient over 7 years
 
  • Betsy Chapin Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2010
    I was also very depressed and became quite withdrawn when I found out the news of my breast cancer. Initially I didn't want to talk about it. The news was devastating and I felt alone. I felt as I was in a dark place and couldn't get out. I was hoping I would just have surgery and radiation and then no one would know in the small town that I live in what I was going through. Once I knew I was going to have chemo and lose my hair, I had to start talking and that actually helped me through treatment. My friends, family, doctors and nurses were all so compassionate and there for me when I needed them. I felt love from so many people and many who were not even great friends became my best friends. Now 2 years later, I am a different person because of cancer and everyday is still amazing. You will get through this. Some days may be very difficult, but try to find something good in every day. Lean on people to help you through this. Stay strong and remember you are not alone.
    over 7 years Flag
    • Saana Malik Profile
      anonymous
      Patient

      Thank you so much

      over 7 years Flag
  • Sharon Danielson Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2007
    Saana, I think your feeling is universal with every woman diagnosed with breast cancer. Reading what the other women have written... the feeling of --fog-- gets better. Some of your feeling come from the unknown. I don't know where you are as far as your treatment but as you move through the process, and gain more information, this fog will clear. I think lots women who go through breast cancer, come out the other side with feelings of empowerment and strength. Odd as it seems, we find some positives in this journey. I know this fog you speak of and this is one of the worst places you will endure, rest assured it will get better. We all get through it in our own ways. I did not hide my diagnosis. Tell your friends and family. Accept their help as an expression of their love and support for you. They want to do this.... As time passes, your path will become clearer and you will feel mentally better. You will get stronger as we all have become warriors in our own unique way. This is a formidable enemy that is trying to take over. Your mental status is all important. You make up your mind, you will beat this as we have. It is a tough fight, but you will overcome this and be a much more courageous woman in the process. We will always be here to bolster your mettle along your journey. Hang in there, Saana, you will make it. Now, get out there and --fight like a girl-- Take care, Sharon
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Thumb avatar default
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    It's sad to hear that you are taking it so badley. As for me, no.....can't say I have been depressed. I have tried very hard to be positive, spend time with the people I care about and enjoy my life and I do. Before I was diagnosed I thought I was a very strong person but I have found a ton more strength that was hidden inside, dig deep and you never know what you will find. I just keep remembering every day how lucky I am, not lucky that I have breast cancer but lucky it was found. It could have been a lot worse. My mother died of bowel cancer a couple of years ago, by the time they found it it was to late, she only lived 10 weeks but she never gave up and fought with a smile on her face the whole time. A very brave lady.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Marianne R. Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2011
    I am sorry you are going through this journey. I think the fog is protective while you are processing the enormity of the journey. When it is all said and done you will have a heightened sense of self and you will never question what is truly important again. As someone once said to me..... Put on you warrior panties and fight like hell your sisters are with you every step of the way.
    over 7 years Flag
    • Saana Malik Profile
      anonymous
      Patient

      Warrior Panties love it...

      over 7 years Flag
  • Anne Marie jacintho Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2003
    Saana we have all been there as you see from these ladies responses. For me no matter how much love and support I had from my family I still felt so alone. I think because breast cancer is dealing with something personal. So much goes through our minds it's not only the cancer but also our body imagine our breast are a focus point in so many ways. Our femininity, motherhood our appearance. Even if you never really thought much about your breast all of a sudden it's in your face how you yourself feel about them and how others will see you. If you are married how your husband will react to you if you are single will I still be desirable. If you have children how will they react. What do I tell them. You become self conscience and feel everyone knows and looking at your breast it is a whirlwind of emotions many a night I cried in the shower or cried myself to sleep or cried when I was home alone. There does come a time when you do pick yourself up and say I can do this it's in Gods hands and I'm not alone. Each one of us finds that strength to get us through what ever comes our way. My manta was God doesn't throw at me what i can't handle so show me the way to handle it help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and that light is there. Take care and know that you are not alone may God bless
    over 7 years Flag
    • Saana Malik Profile
      anonymous
      Patient

      Omg this is me I've felt all of this. I'm to get married but called it off because I just don't know.

      over 7 years Flag
    • Anne Marie jacintho Profile
      anonymous
      Survivor since 2003

      Sanna this is a link to my story http://home.roadrunner.com/~amj/I was 43 with two young children when I was diagnosed. My husband was at my side but he wanted me to make decisions on my own in the beginning he kind if stood back. Only talked...

      more

      Sanna this is a link to my story http://home.roadrunner.com/~amj/I was 43 with two young children when I was diagnosed. My husband was at my side but he wanted me to make decisions on my own in the beginning he kind if stood back. Only talked about it when I brought it up he was a great listener but I wanted someone to just tell me what to do. I told him I wanted him to go with me to my appts he felt awkward at first I explained to him I needed hi

      over 7 years Flag
    • Anne Marie jacintho Profile
      anonymous
      Survivor since 2003

      Sorry hit done by mistake. I told my husband that even though I had breast cancer it affects both of us. He has come with me to every appt since my first diagnosis of breast cancer in 2003. But my first diagnosis of cancer was in 1995 when I...

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      Sorry hit done by mistake. I told my husband that even though I had breast cancer it affects both of us. He has come with me to every appt since my first diagnosis of breast cancer in 2003. But my first diagnosis of cancer was in 1995 when I first started dating my husband I had a malignant melanoma on my arm removed I had a huge incision looked like a dog bite my arm down to the bone. I thought here I'm starting this relationship and I've got cancer why now. My brother told me why not now you've got someone to be at your side and hold you through it all. I' use to tease my soon to be husband that it wasn't his looks that attracted me to him it was because he had a real job with a good medical plan. We married in 1997 little did I know that 5 years into our marriage I'd have breast cancer. I can understand you wanting to postpone your marriage plans. Your fiancé has already made a commitment to you by asking you to marry him. Don't shut him out let him hold your hand through the "good, the bad, and the ugly". Share your feelings with him. And ask him to share his with you also. remember you are not alone if you need to talk you can email me abnormalmammogramnowwhat@yahoo.com My prayers are with you take care

      over 7 years Flag
  • Christina Archambault Profile
    anonymous
    Stage 2B Patient
    Omg totally normal!! With time you will over come the feeling ! It's very hard at first but lean on friends laugh everyday ! Do what makes u happy !
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • vicky kayley Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Me it is so hard I was diagnoses 6th march and been on a roller coaster ever since, hurdle after hurdle but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be here before you know it, I have 4 more chemos to go and just been told today I don't need rt yipee just 5 years of tomoxafen , sending you lots of hugs x x x
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Jk Joyce Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2012
    I felt the same way for a week or two. I rely on God now and I have been blessed over and over thru all of this. My hubby lost his job three weeks after my diagnosis..no insurance, filling out tons of papers, two surgeries, radiation with first ans second degree burns that still are not healed and going to my oncologist in an hour to get started on Tamoxefen. I have kept my spirits up thru it all and God has carried me safe thus far. Praying for you!
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Maggy Mendivil Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Saana: I was diagnosed this year with breast cáncer too; all this procesa us really hard but we can learn that the live i'ts so beautiful and we can learn to trust more in God; enjoy simple things with your family and be humble. We need to feed our spirit with the best and that could help us to be stronger.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Ashley Reynolds Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Yes I felt the same way. I was diagnosed in feb. getting my fifth chemo treatment today and the have one more!!! Will then have surgery and afterwards radiation. I was in a fog at first then got in another one a few weeks ago. You just have to look forward. There is a light!!!!!! You wi have ups and downs. Lean on the people around you for help! That was also hard for me. As a wide and mother of a almost 2 years d I'm the main one. It was hard to step back and let others in fit me!!!
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Bev Lloyd Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    I started reading a book by Yvonne Ortega called "Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer". It really helped me realize that these feelings are ok as long as I don't dwell on them. The only way to get through is with God on your side. Get this book and start reading. You will feel better. I also emailed the author and she personally answered me back.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Vicky Poulsen Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2012
    I just found out from the radiologist last week that I have stage 2 breast cancer. I suffer from major depression, so the news has made me want to put my bedspread over my head and not want to get up. It will be 20 years next week that my mom died from breast cancer, so I'm already trying to emotionally prepare for that anniversary. I have two grown boys and a husband who I celebrated our 30th anniversary the day before the biopsy. I don't stay in bed but get up and go to work. I teach in an inner city high school, and I've already told them. They see that I'm happy and upbeat about it, but since I've missed so many days so far, they've already been worried about me. Most of the people I work with know, as well, and they are like family to me. The other support I get is from my husband and sons. I feel guilty, lonely and incredibly hurt by some of my family members who are so upset that I didn't let them know sooner what I was going through or have chosen to ignore it (this includes my mother's sister and my sister). I'm a very giving and loving person. I took two years off from my life (with a job, pregnant and toddler at home) to take care of my dying mother with no help from either one of them. I'm lucky to have the support from my own family and my students whom I love very much but still can't get over this incredible hurt and depression. I never act like this in front of my own children but for every smile, there's a tear hiding inside. I've already told my aunt that I want nothing to do with her. I have to remain positive and for once be selfish. I know that a positive attitude, my family and thinking of others will get me through.
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Patricia  Armendariz-Tallon Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2010
    It really was the hardest thing I have ever had to accept. Even now I feel that it is not over. I was hospitalized for depression at one point and Guilt. I felt so guilty for living..they called it survivors guilt. I wish I could say it gets easier. For some people it does and for others it doesn't. I am grateful for survival but I am sad thinking back on my days of chemo. I was 33 with 3 children 16, 11, 7 and they really are the ones that helped the most. I knew I had to be strong for them. I find myself putting on a happy face more than ever before. Be grateful for what you have and know you are not alone. It took me a long time to realize that. We are all one big family. Sister to Sister you can pull through this!!!
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • Ashley Reynolds Profile
    anonymous
    Learning About Breast Cancer
    Yes I felt the say
    over 7 years Comment Flag
  • anonymous Profile
    anonymous
    Survivor since 2012
    You just need to give this time. It's huge shock to hear. Take life one day , one step at a time. Allow yourself to cry, to be sad, to be thankful, to be afraid. It's ok. I am sending big hugs and lots of prayer your way my friend.
    over 7 years Comment Flag

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